My Favorite One-Liners
Ding-Ding! The contest is over everybody! THE CONTEST IS OVER! SETTLE DOWN!
(looks around, sees there are only three people here)
Oh. Oh, I see. (puts away microphone)
Well, I can’t say competition was fierce, exactly, but here are the big winners of my little book giveaway:
1) TR Napper (who is a friend and wonderfully talented SF writer in his own right–check him out here)’
From Empire Strikes Back:
Leia: “I love you.” Han: “I know.”
From Birdman (Or the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
“If you weren’t afraid, what would you want to do to me?”
“I’d pull your eyes out of your head…”
“…and put them in my own skull, and look around, so I could see the street the way I used to when I was your age”
From Fahrenheit 451
With school turning out more runners, jumpers, racers, tinkerers, grabbers, snatchers, fliers, and swimmers instead of examiners, critics, knowers, and imaginative creators, the word `intellectual,’ of course, became the swear word it deserved to be. You always dread the unfamiliar.
I will be in contact with you soon to discuss getting you your e-book. Thank you for playing!
Now, since we’re on the topic of one-liners, I figured I’d share a few of my own favorites. Enjoy!
From Casablanca (I could pick any dozen from this movie, but still):
Ugarte: You hate me, don’t you Rick?
Rick: I probably would if I gave you any thought.
From Pirates of the Carribean:
Norrington: You must be the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of.
Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.
From The Princess Bride:
Life is pain, Highness. Anybody who says differently is selling something.
From The Wheel of Time:
Rand al’Thor (after crushing the crown of Cairhien in his bare hands before the newly crowned Queen) Anything done (uses the Power to reform the crown in his hands) can be undone.
From Republic of Thieves by Scott Lynch:
I wouldn’t shit on his head to give him shade from the sun.
I could keep going (like, forever), but that’s enough for now. Back to Actual Writing!
- Tonight, at 6:30 pm, I will be doing a reading of The Iron Ring and giving a presentation on world-building in scifi/fantasy novels at the Adams Street Branch of the Boston Public Library. The event is free and I’ve been made to believe there will be refreshments.
- On May 30th, from 2pm-4pm, I will be signing copies of The Writers of the Future, Volume 31 anthology at the Prudential Center Barnes and Nobel in Boston. I will bring candy.
- Don’t forget to preorder Iron and Blood, which comes out on June 2nd (less than a month away!).
Book Giveaway Contest: Best One-Liners
Hello there, friends! Say, have you heard I have a novel out? No?! Heavens to murgatroyd, wherever have you been? Well, no matter, no matter – we’ll fix things up right soon. Here’s what I’m going to do:
I’m going to give you a free copy of THE IRON RING. Yes, that’s right – give you one. For free.
I’ve got a bunch of copies of THE IRON RING to give to you good people. Why? Well, it just so happens the sequel to THE IRON RING is coming out on June 2nd, and I want to give some people a chance to read the first one before they read the second, right? Only seems fair, and time is of the essence, my friends.
Now, obviously this is such a stupendous deal that I might be inundated with requests for that limited number of free copies, and then I’d have to break the hearts of so many fine people. So, instead, I think we’ll have ourselves a little contest to make it more fair. After a week, I will pick the best entries to be the winners, and they will be set on their way to adventure, intrigue, and whimsy in the world of Tyvian Reldamar. Since Tyvian is, himself, something of a pithy one-liner artist, I’ve devised the following:
Thing the First: Post your favorite one-liner from a book, action movie, video game, or what-not in the comments below (or tweet at me – @AustonHab – with the hashtag #bestoneliner). Think James Bond, Conan the Barbarian, John McClane, Locke Lamora, Kvothe, Rand al’Thor – what line of theirs made you smirk with it’s awesomeness? Put it in the comments. Give some context if needed. Heck, if you want, go ahead and make up your own! If it’s awesome, I’ll give it a prize!
Thing the Second: Sign up for my e-mail list on the right sidebar and/or follow me on Twitter (so you’ll know if you won).
- The contest will run from today (5/11) until next Monday (5/18). I will make a post here listing the winner’s names and we can then arrange a way to e-mail you your book.
One prize per person, please. If you enter a whole bunch of times, I’ll just pick the best one. You can’t win a bunch of books.
- If you win, you’ll be getting the book direct through Harper Collins, so you might need to download their special reader app for your phone/tablet/ whatever.
- All comments need to be made either here on this post or Tweeted at me (@AustonHab) on Twitter with the hashtag #bestoneliner.
- I am the sole arbiter and judge of the contest.
Okay, ready? Go!